Unlikely reasons why Jake Shears, from Scissor Sisters, ‘don’t feel like dancin’

1.  ‘These aren’t really dancing trousers, per se‘

2.  ‘Can’t we just listen to the music for once?

3.  ‘No, I hate it when everyone looks at me’

4.  ‘Oh god, in a club?  With all the lights, and the sweating?  No, thank you’

5.  ‘What?  I’ve never liked dancing.  Who said I liked dancing?’

[written for, and turned down by, McSweeney's, ages ago, and I've only just found it]